The Like Switch: An Ex-FBI Agent's Guide to Influencing, Attracting, and Winning People Over
- Downloads：4543
- Type：Epub+TxT+PDF+Mobi
- Create Date：2022-09-25 05:52:11
- Update Date：2025-09-06
- Status：finish
- Author：Jack Schafer
- ISBN：1476754489
- Environment：PC/Android/iPhone/iPad/Kindle
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Summary
From a former FBI Special Agent specializing in behavior analysis and recruiting spies comes a handbook filled with his proven strategies on how to instantly read people and influence how they perceive you， so you can easily turn on the like switch。
The Like Switch is packed with all the tools you need for turning strangers into friends， whether you are on a sales call， a first date， or a job interview。 As a Special Agent for the FBI’s National Security Division’s Behavioral Analysis Program， Dr。 Jack Schafer developed dynamic and breakthrough strategies for profiling terrorists and detecting deception。 Now， Dr。 Schafer has evolved his proven-on-the-battlefield tactics for the day-to-day， but no less critical battle of getting people to like you。
In The Like Switch， he presents these techniques for how you can influence， attract， and win people over。 Learn how to think and react like your favorite TV investigators from Criminal Minds or CSI as Dr。 Schafer shows you how to improve your LQ （Likeability Quotient）， “spot the lie” both in person and online， master nonverbal cues that influence how people perceive you， and turn up or turn down the intensity of a relationship。
Dr。 Schafer cracks the code on making great first impressions， building lasting relationships， and understanding others’ behavior to learn what they really think about you。 With tips and techniques that hold the key to taking control of your communications， interactions， and relationships， The Like Switch shows you how to read others and get people to like you for a moment or a lifetime。
The Like Switch is packed with all the tools you need for turning strangers into friends， whether you are on a sales call， a first date， or a job interview。 As a Special Agent for the FBI’s National Security Division’s Behavioral Analysis Program， Dr。 Jack Schafer developed dynamic and breakthrough strategies for profiling terrorists and detecting deception。 Now， Dr。 Schafer has evolved his proven-on-the-battlefield tactics for the day-to-day， but no less critical battle of getting people to like you。
In The Like Switch， he presents these techniques for how you can influence， attract， and win people over。 Learn how to think and react like your favorite TV investigators from Criminal Minds or CSI as Dr。 Schafer shows you how to improve your LQ （Likeability Quotient）， “spot the lie” both in person and online， master nonverbal cues that influence how people perceive you， and turn up or turn down the intensity of a relationship。
Dr。 Schafer cracks the code on making great first impressions， building lasting relationships， and understanding others’ behavior to learn what they really think about you。 With tips and techniques that hold the key to taking control of your communications， interactions， and relationships， The Like Switch shows you how to read others and get people to like you for a moment or a lifetime。
Reviews
Vibhor Sahay
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Fairly average advice on the subject matter。Reading it playing out in the FBI world was interesting though。
Brendan O'Brien
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Great quick one。 Full of actionable examples。 Would recommend。
Nikki Lampe
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Interesting but repetitive。 It felt calculated and didn’t resonate with me。 But he’s knowledgeable for sure！
Tio
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Always remember that knowledge without action is knowledge wasted。
Clayton
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Insights on influence and social connection。 Some of the book is out of place with the overall topic， in my opinion， such as the part about how to be smart with your online presence。It's a good mix of research and his own personal experience as a FBI agent。 Interesting and easy to read。 Insights on influence and social connection。 Some of the book is out of place with the overall topic， in my opinion， such as the part about how to be smart with your online presence。It's a good mix of research and his own personal experience as a FBI agent。 Interesting and easy to read。 。。。more
Molly
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Interesting read on human psychology and mannerisms as told by an FBI agent。 More evidence that so much of communication is nonverbal， highly intuitive， and happens below our conscious awareness。
Teresa M。
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I've been really into behavioral analysis and body language studies。 Jack Schafer was a name that came up and seemed exactly what I was looking for。 The issue is a lot of this knowledge is pretty well established， but it is fascinating to hear examples of how this plays out accurately such as being empathetic to other's needs。 There is something to faking empathy; similiar to faking a smile， everyone can see through it， so I also recognized when customers try these techniques on me like asking m I've been really into behavioral analysis and body language studies。 Jack Schafer was a name that came up and seemed exactly what I was looking for。 The issue is a lot of this knowledge is pretty well established， but it is fascinating to hear examples of how this plays out accurately such as being empathetic to other's needs。 There is something to faking empathy; similiar to faking a smile， everyone can see through it， so I also recognized when customers try these techniques on me like asking my name but aren't actually empathizing with me and why it doesn't work。 Authenticity is key。 。。。more
Patrick Kelly
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The Like Switch By Jack Schafer - [ ] A book about EI - [ ] Written by a former FBI agent that recruited spy’s and interrogated suspects- [ ] This is in the vein of ‘How To Win Friends’- [ ] You can learn these strategies and behaviors but you must constantly practice them - [ ] Constant practice， constant vigilance - [ ] Friendship Formula - [ ] Frequency - how often you see someone - [ ] Intensity - curiosity or threat - [ ] Duration - time around the person each time you see them - [ ] Prox The Like Switch By Jack Schafer - [ ] A book about EI - [ ] Written by a former FBI agent that recruited spy’s and interrogated suspects- [ ] This is in the vein of ‘How To Win Friends’- [ ] You can learn these strategies and behaviors but you must constantly practice them - [ ] Constant practice， constant vigilance - [ ] Friendship Formula - [ ] Frequency - how often you see someone - [ ] Intensity - curiosity or threat - [ ] Duration - time around the person each time you see them - [ ] Proximity - [ ] Friendship = proximity + intensity + duration + frequency - [ ] Proximity - just being nearby， sharing physical space。 It must take place in a non threatening environment - [ ] Non verbal signals- [ ] Duration - the more time you spend with someone， the more influence you have on a person - [ ] Duration and frequency - how much time do you spend together when you are together- [ ] Intensity - the glue that holds it together- [ ] Establish common ground to build rapport- [ ] Friend or foe - [ ] Walk with purpose， don’t be the slow confused gazelle First impressions - [ ] Send out nonverbal friend singles - [ ] Quick eyebrow flash - less than a second， can be done from long distance - [ ] Eye contact - people trust those that make eye contact - [ ] Can be done from a distance。 Hold the gaze for no longer than a second - [ ] Head tilt to the side - not up or down - [ ] Tilt towards the person， not away。 Tilt upright for assertiveness - [ ] Slight smile - genuine smile， cheeks raised， corners of the mouth up turned - [ ] People can tell the difference between a real and fake smile - [ ] No smile means don’t approach， particularly with women - [ ] Learn how to smile even when you don’t want to - [ ] Learn how to do everything in this book even when you don’t want to - [ ] Lit shoulder touch - [ ] Introduce yourself by name and use others name。 A persons name is one of their favorite sound- [ ] Mimics and mirror others Be interested in others- [ ] Connection - [ ] The golden rule of friendship: if you want people to like you， make them feel good about themselves- [ ] Empathic statements， make them feel important - [ ] Let go of your ego， make them the center of attention - [ ] Allow others to compliment themselves， provide them the opportunity to compliment themselves- [ ] Be sincere， be specific - specific empathetic understanding statements - [ ] The primacy effect - give others an impression of someone else， alter their impression - [ ] Allow others to be of service to you， it makes them feel important - [ ] When you make others feel good， good things often happen to you The laws of attraction:- [ ] If you go out looking for friends they will be hard to find， if you to go out looking to be a friend， they will be everywhere - [ ] If you go out looking for love it will be hard to find， if you look to love， it will be everywhere - [ ] Find common ground as soon as possible - [ ] People assume that others think like they do - [ ] Reciprocity - [ ] Next time someone thanks you for something say - ‘I know you would do the same for me’ - call about their higher self - [ ] Self disclosure - be careful about reveling things too soon or not at the same level - [ ] Slow， steady， careful disclosures- [ ] People with high self esteem handle rejection better， they see it as a part of life rather than an indictment of who they are or reflection of their self worth - [ ] They don’t mind being the center of attention - [ ] A certain level of unavailability makes you desirable - the law of scarcity Speaking the language of friendship - [ ] The more you can encourage the other person to speak， display empathy， the more you listen to what they say， and respond positively to their comments， the greater the likelihood that they will feel good about themselves - golden rule of friendship - [ ] Keep your ego in check - [ ] Listening to others is difficult for extroverts - [ ] It’s difficult to tune down your own brain。 We can literally tune other people out so we don’t hear them - [ ] Listen， pay attention to others speaking， be present - [ ] We can think 4x as fast as a person speaks - [ ] The best way to pay attention is through eye contact， 2/3-3/4 of the time have eye contact - [ ] Friends are the those that ask how you are and listen - [ ] Allow people the opportunity to make their own choices， even if the outcome is already determined。 Allow them to feel in control - [ ] Use elicitation instead of questions to get people to open up - [ ] Few if any questions are asked - [ ] People will thank you and like you because they are the focus of your attention - [ ] Be empathic - people want to be recognized Building closeness - [ ] Build report- [ ] Be caring， be a friend， be loving - [ ] Be an active listener - [ ] Let the person finish speaking - [ ] Don’t be thinking about what you will say， think about their words， not yours - [ ] Show positive nonverbal communication - [ ] Be positive， praise the person- [ ] You must do everything you can before you end a relationship - don’t cut and run- [ ] A section on privacy， professionalism， and the internet - [ ] Listening on the flight back from Ireland - [ ] Good book， picked up some fine tips and techniques 。。。more
Reading in the mountains
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But this is mainly a book on how to conquer people and take them by whole， how to work with idiots and bare every soul that has a shadow on this tiny planet of ours。Everybody wants to be liked， not because we actually care about someone’s opinion but because life gets easier for you and that’s what we strive for on this blog， a simple life。What attracted me to this book was simply， the author。 A former FBI are you kidding me？ No therapist knows more about behaviour than an FBI agent， they totall But this is mainly a book on how to conquer people and take them by whole， how to work with idiots and bare every soul that has a shadow on this tiny planet of ours。Everybody wants to be liked， not because we actually care about someone’s opinion but because life gets easier for you and that’s what we strive for on this blog， a simple life。What attracted me to this book was simply， the author。 A former FBI are you kidding me？ No therapist knows more about behaviour than an FBI agent， they totally rule！So that’s the whole reason why I’ve chosen this book， but to be completely fair， this is a fantastic read， super helpful as well。 Read it， get liked and simplify your life because no morron deserves to fuck up your day。Get lucky。 。。。more
Ally Clements
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Great tips on subtle cues in body language as well as verbal responses to know if I am giving and/or receiving friend or foe signals。 Stories felt long， maybe I just have a short attention span！
Megan Pryor
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Really interesting take on how to live in today’s society。 Also interesting to hear the perspective of an ex-FBI agent
Angel
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Audiobook。 Good information， nothing earth-shattering or particularly novel。 Delivery was rather dull。
Wilson P。
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Concise， direct， and grounded in reality， this book delivers an easy to follow guide on how to become more aware of your verbal and non-verbal habits。 I was familiar already with some of them， but hearing them explicitly described was very helpful。 I’m expecting this guide to be helpful in the classroom。
Sam Brunaugh
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Good book with plenty of good advice on how to make friends。 However， the author's tone sometimes assumes his readers are interested in manipulating themselves into friendships/relationships rather than finding friends genuinely。 Good book with plenty of good advice on how to make friends。 However， the author's tone sometimes assumes his readers are interested in manipulating themselves into friendships/relationships rather than finding friends genuinely。 。。。more
Krissy
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Great info but dull delivery。 I listened to it on 2。2x speed。
Vix
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This book was in great condition when I found it in a free library - now I know why。 I stopped reading at page 46。 I thought the information presented was mostly obvious， content poorly written and the perspective and language were misogynistic。 I’ll be returning it to the free library， but I feel badly for the next， reader that picks it up。
Laura
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Some interesting techniques for getting people to like you were presented， but most of the concepts were extremely basic。 For example， scowling at someone provokes a "foe" response？！ Who knew。。。I think this book would have benefited from some editing to remove some of the fluff。 Some interesting techniques for getting people to like you were presented， but most of the concepts were extremely basic。 For example， scowling at someone provokes a "foe" response？！ Who knew。。。I think this book would have benefited from some editing to remove some of the fluff。 。。。more
David
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It wasn’t terrible but it definitely wasn’t what I expected。 More appropriate for people with poor social skills， no background in body language or those looking to become pickup artists。 Yeeeeeesh…
Mark
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Very informative on a variety of relationship and conversation-based concepts。
Dan Trapp
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"those your skis？""Both of em？"Had to put and end to this。 Actually couldn't continue through the cringe。 "those your skis？""Both of em？"Had to put and end to this。 Actually couldn't continue through the cringe。 。。。more
Shane Larson
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Quick audiobook read！ I’m surprised how much it held my attention。 Initially seemed to be a book on FBI interrogation strategy that also inadvertently helped the agents pickup girls in bars。 I was surprised as it morphed into a lecture on body language and relationship measures。 Finally the book seems to wrap up as a primer for those considering online dating。 Very interesting read for a Valentines Day！
Szymon Dudziński
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Loved it。 Before I even finished it， I already used some of these ideas in my life， that's how good it is。 Plus， it was actually a fun read for me。 Loved it。 Before I even finished it， I already used some of these ideas in my life， that's how good it is。 Plus， it was actually a fun read for me。 。。。more
Matthew Souza
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Incredible and life changing - read the whole book in one day！ As somebody with Adhd， this has improved my confidence and relationships and how I relate and read people; wish I had learnt about this book sooner - totally recommend :） incredible social cues techniques and interesting stories to keep you interested as examples！
Joseph
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This was a very informative book， detailing techniques the FBI uses to gain people’s trust and develop strong personal relationships。 These techniques can be used to develop new friendships， create stronger bonds with co-workers， or strengthen romantic relationships。Some of the concepts reviewed are displaying non-verbal friend signals， active listening， providing the person you’re talking to an opportunity to feel good about themselves （and through the proximity effect， feel good about you thro This was a very informative book， detailing techniques the FBI uses to gain people’s trust and develop strong personal relationships。 These techniques can be used to develop new friendships， create stronger bonds with co-workers， or strengthen romantic relationships。Some of the concepts reviewed are displaying non-verbal friend signals， active listening， providing the person you’re talking to an opportunity to feel good about themselves （and through the proximity effect， feel good about you through association）， using primacy/third party filters， and the law of reciprocity。Additionally， Schafer reviews how to de-escalate arguments using emphatic and presumptive statements， and how to get someone to agree with your ideas through the use of asking their advice and disarming objections before they are uttered through the careful observation of non-verbal cues。While I suppose utilizing these techniques in the extreme would be considered manipulative， the general honing of these skills will almost certainly strengthen the relationships you have and allow you to be liked by almost anyone you meet。 。。。more
A Crawley
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Better than what I expected。 The information is practical， simple and based on acute observation with prosocial inclination。 Useful。 Well written and engaging。
Aivlys
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Kurzweilig und interessant。 Viele Dinge hatte ich schon einmal irgendwo gehört， aber schon wieder vergessen。
Serena
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How to be creepyWant to know how to influence and befriend others？ Or pick up on more social cues -great book！ The voice of the author is clearly of a white male with some serious heteronormative viewpoints， but they are still valid。 He did validate the female experience of men interpreting touch as a call for sex （when they're obviously overreaching）。 Some tips were obvious and others-I actually learned how to influence others or influence my body language。 He wasn't able to expound on how cree How to be creepyWant to know how to influence and befriend others？ Or pick up on more social cues -great book！ The voice of the author is clearly of a white male with some serious heteronormative viewpoints， but they are still valid。 He did validate the female experience of men interpreting touch as a call for sex （when they're obviously overreaching）。 Some tips were obvious and others-I actually learned how to influence others or influence my body language。 He wasn't able to expound on how creepy men really can be， and was unable to describe how limited women are in their nuance of body language。 Overall， I good book， but the voice of the author clearly carries through。 。。。more
Jenna Christensen
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Fascinating book！
Katlyn
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"Letting our teenagers roam freely on the Internet， especially my daughter， was a scary proposition for my wife and me。" This statement， paired with a full story about the author's daughter bringing home a distasteful punk rocker and a few other gems， gives the whole book a bit of a sexist overtone。 Otherwise， the book has a few helpful tips but I think it could have all been said in 100 pages。 "Letting our teenagers roam freely on the Internet， especially my daughter， was a scary proposition for my wife and me。" This statement， paired with a full story about the author's daughter bringing home a distasteful punk rocker and a few other gems， gives the whole book a bit of a sexist overtone。 Otherwise， the book has a few helpful tips but I think it could have all been said in 100 pages。 。。。more
Kamila Witusik
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